This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
