If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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