I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
there is puke in my bra ... again
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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