I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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