That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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