Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Duck Duck Cougar?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
