he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
