Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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