...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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