We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
