im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
