direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
