just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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