So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
