Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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