I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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