The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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