I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
