Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
