When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
