We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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