I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize