maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
