I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
