Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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