Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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