They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
soo... how was my night?
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