I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
How does one acquire holy water?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
