She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
