I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
