Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
