Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
