You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
