it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Your penis caused this!
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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