Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Blood and glitter go together right?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
