he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
