bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
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