is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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