There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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