so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
