Already got asked if we're dating
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
