I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
