You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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