Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
