ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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