i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
