"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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