so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I think im going to throw up on grandma
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
