Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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