so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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