he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize