I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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