walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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