I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
