ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize