the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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