My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
