I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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