So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize