He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
