It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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