If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize