I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
