I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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