Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
