idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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