I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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