If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
