He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Did I show you my penis last night?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
