need another drink. this is the easiest way
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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